VIDEOS. . . Still back 2 the drawing board.

I have taken steps to upgrade my site but still the problem I have with my videos persist.  Right now the only place I have been able to embed videos that were directly uploaded from my computer to my Dolphin site is on MySpace.  On there I was able to grab the code AS IS and create a video invitation for my fans.  It works perfectly on there, however, they have Terms of Use guidelines that restrict promoting on there, that IS why I want my videos to be embeddable on OTHER sites.  I am a member of numerous adult sites in the Ning community where there NO restrictions on adult content, therefore I want to embed videos from MY site to theirs whether it be a comment or actual banner or HTML block.   The option provided on Ning does ALLOW embed videos however, my videos never play, they just hang in with that god forsaken "Pending" status with the dreaded circles going around.  This not mistaken for buffering as I know there's usually always some wait time for the buffering process.  My problem is the videos I attempt embed never reach a state where they actually be viewed and this is aggravating the h*** out of me.  Would someone with VIDEO expertise please enlighten me on what's the secret to successfully embedding videos on Ning sites that come from Dolphin.  I don't have this problem with videos embedded from YouTube and would just as well post my videos on there to avoid all this trouble, however, my videos are adult n nature and therefore I can't just take advantage of the fact that most software, whether video editing software or scripts for social networks bend over backwards to make embedding YouTube videos easily.  I want the same ease of embedding you get with YouTube videos for my original videos I upload on my Dolphin site.  Would someone PLEASE help me out?!