RE: "I want to change the extra_top_menu. But i don't know where to start..."
Not sure why GG is off in the weeds talking about the service menu, when your question is about the member menu.
Anyway, without some template/code modifications, you can't target "<a class="extra_item top_indent... etc. " because there are no unique identifiers. You can however, target the icon within the <i> tags.
For instance, to replace the mail icon, you might add something like this to your templates general.css
.menu_item .sys-icon.envelope:before {
display:none;
}
.menu_item .sys-icon.envelope {
background-color:transparent;
background-size:48px 32px;
background-repeat:no-repeat;
background-image:url('https://cdn4.iconfinder.com/data/icons/world-flags/180/flag_us_america_united_states-48.png');
width:48px;
height:32px;
padding:3px;
}
You'll then have to tweak other css to accommodate the height of whatever image you use. In the above case, I'd also have to change the height in the css below:
div.extra_top_menu table.fixed_menu div.popup_html div.menu_item {
border-color: -moz-use-text-color rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);
border-left: 1px solid rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);
border-right: 1px solid rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);
border-style: none solid;
border-width: medium 1px;
float: left;
height: 28px; // Needs to increase to accommodate image height +padding, or just remove the fixed height.
padding: 0 3px;
position: relative;
}
If I understood you correctly, this will replace the envelope icon in the member menu with a different image... in my example, an American flag from somewhere on the internet. You would of course, change the image path to ../images/icons/yourImage.ext and upload the corresponding image to tmpl_whatever/images/icons
Typical Result:
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